Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
