So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize