Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
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I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
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I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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