So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
