Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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