don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
