So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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