bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
