Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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