It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
