glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
