you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
