P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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