He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
