Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
