Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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