To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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