if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
