My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i already hear my dad disowning me
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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