Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
