I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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