you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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