Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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