drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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