I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch