I puked a lego.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can