Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice