so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
