Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
