Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
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The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test