I can tuck mytits in my pants
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that