wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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