So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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