oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
