Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
