I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
