so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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