Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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