you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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