great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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