This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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