she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
