I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why is there bacon in the couch?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
