is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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