you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
