My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I need a burrito and a hug.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
