i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She's the barista slut.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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