I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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