To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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