If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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