but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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