dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize