just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
