At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
