We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
