Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
