Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
