The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
