so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
