I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
