I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So here I am, sexting at work.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
