when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
