Christians are straight up FREAKS
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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