i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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